Christmas lunch wouldn’t be complete without the chorus of groans that corny cracker jokes always provoke.

Here are some of the classics jokes!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?

Twerky!

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Arthur

Arthur who? 

Arthur any mince pies left?

What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?

Auld Fang Syne

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?

Elf-is Presley!

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

What did Santa say to the smoker? 

Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Horn-aments!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles!

Did Rudolph go to school?

No. He was Elf-taught!

Why did the turkey join the band?

Because it had the drumsticks!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle!

What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws!

What does Santa do with fat elves?

He sends them to an Elf Farm!