To My First Born,

I can’t believe 17 years have passed since you were born. It feels like yesterday that I held you in my arms for the 1st time and now I watch and encourage you as you find your place in this world. The feeling of protection never leaves and I feel it now more than ever. You are always in my thoughts and I often sit and wonder what you’re doing.

You were the first one to call me mummy, the first one I taught things to and the first one that gave me my first mummy moments. So it is only natural that you are the first one to experience life without me being there all the time to hold your hand. I just hope that you know I am always here.

You were there as we welcomed your three sisters into the world. Each time desperately hoping for a little brother to play with but you ended up with a tribe of sisters who adored you and love you. I think you met your match with L, with there being just over 2 years between you. She loved to play football with you and play fight with you and even now I watch in disbelief at times as you two roll around on the floor fighting! sibling love I like to call it.

The girls and I were there as you brought your first girlfriend home to meet us all and they asked embarrassing questions and giggled at the window as you held hands. Your first real experience of having sisters and the joy that brings.

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You’re a lot quieter than your sisters and not as vocal but there is nothing wrong with that. We don’t all have to make ourselves heard all the time and the girls are the girls. You can be quiet and passionate at the same time.

17 years on and we are having another little boy. A little brother that you longed for since you could speak and I know it will be a different experience for us all as our life balance shifts again. You will always be my eldest baby and I am so incredibly proud of you. Each of you are so different and I am sure this baby will be no different. We are excited about having another boy and I hope he will be just as wonderful as you, my son.

I know it will be a new experience but you will always be my 1st born. The one that taught me how to be a mummy.

Love you so much,

Mummy x