Getting Diagnosed with ADHD at 45: A Dad’s Perspective

I’m a 45 year old Dad with three kids, all of which have been diagnosed with ADHD and ADD in the last couple of years. On advice from the Doctor I decided to get myself tested, considering the genetic likelihood of my wife and/or I having it too.

I’ve always had issues maintaining concentration at work, and can be easily distracted. I’ve also struggled with organisational skills and even been hard pressed to motivate myself when I’m not particularly motivated or interested in a particular project I need to work on.

Having said that, after I received an ADHD diagnosis from a Doctor at 45 years old it came as a definitive shock but also made complete sense. All of a sudden I felt much more able to understand the issues my children had experienced in their childhood and felt much better placed to help and understand what they were going through. I had more patience, more empathy and my emotional tolerance and bandwidth with the kids definitely improved.

Soon enough, I started to relate how the kids were behaving to how I felt in those same situations. Shopping malls do suck, as do most super busy, noisy environments. My son especially hated these places. I always had too but now the connection was made all the more clear.

As a child I spent a lot of time in the ‘naughty corner’ at home and at school. Back in 1984, ADHD wasn’t really a thing, let alone an explanation for a kid like me and my high-jinx. I was always in the headmasters office, reduced to writing out lines with titles like “I Must Not Hide Under The Table During Class and Tie My Friends Shoelaces Together”. There was no understanding. I just ended up missing out on playtimes often, even school trips; relegated to the classroom whilst my friends went to the Science Museum or ‘The Worcester Park Horticultural Centre’.

Now, my children have a raft of teachers, resources and procedures in place to help them if they’re feeling particularly fidgety, lethargic or just need to get out of the classroom. It’s incredible how far things have come in the UK, and I’m so relieved to see it. My daughter can spend time in the dedicated ‘Learning Hub’ to read or study, my son (who also suffers from Autism as well as ADHD) has a dedicated staff member to help him with his learning and progress at a pace more in tune with how his mind processes events and information.

The days of “Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard” in the classroom have been replaced with “Children Should be Seen, Heard and Listened To”. It can only lead to more well-rounded, well behaved children from all walks of the spectrum going onto lead more thoughtful, prosperous and emotionally rewarding lives.

If you think you may suffer from ADHD, you can read more and find out how to get tested on the NHS website here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/